Top 10 Reasons I hate X Factor

Between work, three kids, the kitchen and the cat box, I have very little time for television. I usually save TV viewing time for the super-important, can't-miss-it-or-I'll-die shows, like Grey's Anatomy, Parenthood and re-runs of Frasier.

A girl has to have priorities, you know.

I'm also one of those suckers that hears the buzz about certain pop-culture shows and starts to worry that I'm missing out on something vital. You never know when you're going to need certain bits of trivia wisdom.

I mean, I might be on Cash Cab someday!

So naturally, when I heard that Brit-Brit was going to be a judge on X Factor, I was a little curious. Last night, after helping my beloved scan and email a zillion bank statements for our accountant (read: I would rather have glass shards shoved up my nostrils), I decided to decompress with some mindless, non-educational telvision viewing.

That church channel was showing a bunch of nuns praying the rosary. I thoroughly enjoyed that for about eleven seconds.

PBS observed Throwback Thursday with an encore presentation of Lawrence Welk (hello, Lennon Sisters!).

And then I stopped on the X Factor.



After roughly 5 minutes, I concluded this was not a show that I was going to waste precious DVR space on.



And here are 10 reasons why:

1. The show is flat-out over edited. There is no organic feel of anything that happens. The producers have a formula, and God save the Queen, they're going to stick to it! Here's the formula: 10 seconds of backstory, one minute of stage introduction time and banter with the judges, and one minute of performance while the cameras cut away to canned audience approval, shocked judges faces, and backstage family reaction. There you go. Now you too can be a reality show producer.

2. It feels like I'm watching the commercial promo for the show instead of the actual show.

3. Brit-Brit isn't allowed to say much. Have these producers not seen "Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo"?! We Americans are not ashamed to admit that WE LOVE TO WATCH TRAIN WRECKS!

4. Simon Cowell is truly a self-indulgent ass monkey. Take away that crappy white t-shirt and he could be a mechanic at any greasy auto shop in my hometown. Or that dude who won't stop bugging you while you look at TVs at Best Buy.

5. That black dude is not Randy Jackson. Stop pretending he is.

6. Who the hell is Demi Lovato?

7. I love Ryan Seacrest and I can't help it. Watching X Factor makes me feel like I'm cheating on him.

8. They fuck up perfectly good songs.

9. It gives poor souls false hope that they're going to be the next Kelly Clarkson.

10. Who the hell is Demi Lovato? I realize this was reason #6, but I thought it beared repeating.

Much love,
40 and Freaked Out by X Factor

P.S. The photos contained in this post were taken directly from a Google search. I don't make money off this blog, so please don't sue me. Thank you. Over and out.