Maybe not. It's only about 70 degrees, so this can't be hell. But all signs are pointing that way.
Today is Thursday, and since Monday things have been in complete turmoil. My "career" seems to be spinning out of control, through no fault of my own, and there is no solace to escape to at home. Both Stevie and McKenna are fighting some kind of stomach bug (on top of allergies) and fevers are spiking to 102. Everything in the house has vomit on it, and my washing machine is on perpetual cycle. Kenny and I have tickets to see Merle Haggard tonight and I can't help but think I should be staying home. If only I could bolt the doors closed and disconnect the phone! Hmm....
Last night I watched a news program called "The Last Lecture". It was a moving story of a college professor who was asked to give his students "The Last Lecture" at the end of the semester. I learned it was a common request; instructors - having contemplated their demise - are asked to profess to their class on the values of life, and what legacy they would hope to pass on if they were to walk out the classroom door for the last time. Instead, this professor really was giving his last lecture. Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just a month earlier, Dr. Randy Pausch quickly penned a lecture titled "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams". Ironically, it wasn't about dying; it was about overcoming obstacles in life and learning that it's better to fail spectacularly than to just exist in life monotonously. Now isn't that a cannon of a statement? I thought about my own situation: at the helm of a company in dire financial distress. I've chosen to stay the course and see my boss' plans to the very end. If we fail, at least I will have failed along with him...spectacularly.
After the program was over, I quickly logged on to my laptop and swiped up a copy of Dr. Pausch's book (also titled The Last Lecture). The most moving part of his story is that as he spends every day dying, he is trying to leave behind "safety nets" for his three small children and his wife, because "if I am not here to catch them, who will? I can either stay busy worrying that I won't be here to help, or I can get started sewing nets to catch them in my absence."
That's a lot of nets, Dr. Pausch.
So what will I spend my valuable time on? After all, this man is DYING. Realistically, we are all dying, but we haven't been dealt the "cancer card" in the poker hand of life. Dr. Pausch has chosen to not waste valuable time worrying about dying. Instead, he has maximized his life daily in more ways than I have done in a decade. From that show, I learned so many things: 1. I cannot change the circumstances of my company; it is not my ship to save. 2. I am the only one in control of my own destiny; I can choose to stay, or I can make plans to save myself. Hell, the survivors of the Titanic only lived to tell about it because they chose to save themselves. 3. My family is the only constant in my life; jobs come and go, people and friends come and go. At the end of the day, my children are my legacy and what I pass on to them is the greatest contribution to the world I can give.
Need proof? My daughter told me last night she had been accepted into the National Honor Society. What better contribution to the world could I possibly make?
