Top 10 Reasons I hate X Factor

Between work, three kids, the kitchen and the cat box, I have very little time for television. I usually save TV viewing time for the super-important, can't-miss-it-or-I'll-die shows, like Grey's Anatomy, Parenthood and re-runs of Frasier.

A girl has to have priorities, you know.

I'm also one of those suckers that hears the buzz about certain pop-culture shows and starts to worry that I'm missing out on something vital. You never know when you're going to need certain bits of trivia wisdom.

I mean, I might be on Cash Cab someday!

So naturally, when I heard that Brit-Brit was going to be a judge on X Factor, I was a little curious. Last night, after helping my beloved scan and email a zillion bank statements for our accountant (read: I would rather have glass shards shoved up my nostrils), I decided to decompress with some mindless, non-educational telvision viewing.

That church channel was showing a bunch of nuns praying the rosary. I thoroughly enjoyed that for about eleven seconds.

PBS observed Throwback Thursday with an encore presentation of Lawrence Welk (hello, Lennon Sisters!).

And then I stopped on the X Factor.



After roughly 5 minutes, I concluded this was not a show that I was going to waste precious DVR space on.



And here are 10 reasons why:

1. The show is flat-out over edited. There is no organic feel of anything that happens. The producers have a formula, and God save the Queen, they're going to stick to it! Here's the formula: 10 seconds of backstory, one minute of stage introduction time and banter with the judges, and one minute of performance while the cameras cut away to canned audience approval, shocked judges faces, and backstage family reaction. There you go. Now you too can be a reality show producer.

2. It feels like I'm watching the commercial promo for the show instead of the actual show.

3. Brit-Brit isn't allowed to say much. Have these producers not seen "Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo"?! We Americans are not ashamed to admit that WE LOVE TO WATCH TRAIN WRECKS!

4. Simon Cowell is truly a self-indulgent ass monkey. Take away that crappy white t-shirt and he could be a mechanic at any greasy auto shop in my hometown. Or that dude who won't stop bugging you while you look at TVs at Best Buy.

5. That black dude is not Randy Jackson. Stop pretending he is.

6. Who the hell is Demi Lovato?

7. I love Ryan Seacrest and I can't help it. Watching X Factor makes me feel like I'm cheating on him.

8. They fuck up perfectly good songs.

9. It gives poor souls false hope that they're going to be the next Kelly Clarkson.

10. Who the hell is Demi Lovato? I realize this was reason #6, but I thought it beared repeating.

Much love,
40 and Freaked Out by X Factor

P.S. The photos contained in this post were taken directly from a Google search. I don't make money off this blog, so please don't sue me. Thank you. Over and out.

Calabasitas!

My dad and bonus mom came to visit last week from Austin. Everyone was excited to see them, especially the girls. Sunday we got together for dinner at my dad's BFF's house. My bonus mom said, "We're just gonna grab some chicken. Don't worry about bringing anything except yourselves!" Translation: I should probably bring something, huh?

With no time to stop at the store, I did a quick mental inventory of my fridge and decided on this:



Calabasitas (squash) is something my sister in-law showed me how to make years ago. Since then, I have torn this recipe apart and made it several different ways. The following method is my favorite, I think. It takes a few extra steps (read: more dirty dishes), but it's worth every bite!





Start with some yellow and zucchini squash. Rinse them off and slice them width-wise. I grew these over the summer, and we ate them grilled, fried, sauteed, and boiled. Delish!




Next, grab some fresh yellow or white corn. Using a super-sharp knife, slice the kernels off the cob. I did not grow these over the summer, but you can find locally-grown corn in just about any grocery store this time of year.




I have a good friend I would like you to meet. Her name is Carzalia, and despite being great friends, I just lopped her head off. She is yummy! Carzalia sweet onions are grown by my friends the Johnsons over in the Carzalia Valley, just south of Deming on the U.S./Mexico border. I. Love. Them. If you aren't fortunate enough to find a Carzalia sweet where you are, any sweet onion will do. Dice it up.




You'll also need some green chile. I used about 4 long Sandia chiles, and it was good. More (and possibly hotter) would have been even better.






Next, melt about 2 tablespoons of butter in a large skillet.



Throw in the onion, green chile and corn and sautee over medium-high heat until the onions are translucent. Give it a good coating of salt and pepper. I always use a pepper grinder because fresh cracked pepper makes all the difference, in my humble opinion.






I should confess that all of these photos were taken with my iPhone because the battery on my Nikon was muerto (dead). Please forgive the imperfections and shadows.






While the onion, green chile and corn are cooking, grab a box of chicken stock (about 4 cups).






Pour the stock into a large pot and bring it to a boil.
Then dice up a perfectly ripe tomato, or two. Whatever you're feeling like that day. On this day, I felt like two tomatoes.






Add the squash and the tomatoes to the chicken stock. Don't be like me and insist on using your Grandma's Le Creuset to do this. While I love this skillet more than just about anything in my kitchen, I needed something bigger.






Cook the squash and the tomatoes until the squash is just about fork-tender, or maybe sooner. (You're going to bake everything together and that will soften the squash, too.)






Throw everything together in a large bowl and blend. Now that I see this photo, the next time I make this I might not boil the tomatoes but instead add them in at this point. Boiling tomatoes gives the squash a nice flavor, but they all but disappear. All you have left are skins!






Layer everything in a casserole dish with about 2 cups of cheese. I used Monterey Jack and cheddar. Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes, or until the cheese has melted. Perfecto!

This makes my mouth water. So good! Try it before all the fresh veggies are gone.






Here's a quick cut-and-paste version:

Calabasitas!

4-6 squash (yellow and zucchini work best)
3 ears of white or yellow corn, kernels sliced off the cob
4 long green chiles, diced
1 large sweet onion
2 tbsp. butter
salt and pepper to taste
4 cups chicken stock
2 large vine-ripe tomatoes
2 cups Monterey Jack or cheddar cheese (or both!)

Preheat oven to 350. Sautee corn, green chiles and onion in butter until onion is translucent. Set aside.
In a large stock pot, bring chicken stock to a boil. Add squash and tomatoes and boil until squash is almost fork-tender. Drain.
Add squash and tomatoes to the sauteed veggies. Layer in a large casserole dish with cheeses and bake for about 20 minutes, or until cheese is melted.

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My Angels Have Tiny Wings

My babies are in the first grade. I have to type that and read it over and over because, as a mother - and most mothers reading this will agree - it never sounds cliche when you say, "Good lord, time sure flies. Where did it all go?"

Because it does. It flies. Those precious moments I tried to inhale at every opportunity when we came home from the hospital are still so fresh.


This is my BFF Michelle and her baby, Malia. Malia is almost as tall as me now.


One time when the girls were in Kindergarten, we went to Walmart for barstools. (Note to self: barstools from Walmart are made of cardboard and last for 2 days before collapsing, sending you crashing down on your ass. Not good.) The girls saw these bean bags and said, "Look! They're twins, too!" Pretty genius observation, wouldn't you say? Instead of matching bean bags, these were twin bean bags.


This was last Easter. Their smiles melt me. So did those eggs, which the Rodeo kids made and hid for the girls. These were Dixie's eggs...one for Louie, and one for Libby. I think Libby probaby ate that one, too. Shell and all.


First day of first grade. I cried all the way to work after I dropped them off, just like I do every year since 2000, when my Bug started Kindergarten. Stab me in the heart.


Bye, Baby Mac. Have a good day... Mama loves you.


Bye, Stevie Nicks. Please don't terrorize anyone on the first day. Except for maybe that poor soul behind you. Tell her to cut those bangs already! Can she even see where she's going? Thanks. Mama loves you, too.

One more thing...take care of each other. Your sister will always be your best friend, just like your Mama.

Elvis has left the building

I was 5 when Elvis died. I was in bed, and I could hear Walter Cronkite on the television down the hall in our green and white doublewide out on the farm (which wasn't actually a farm, but my dad always called it that because it was in BFE and we had a horse).

I was too little to understand that celebrities were these unreachable superstars that fans rarely, if ever, get to meet, and because I heard my dad talk about Elvis all the time, and because his music was in our house all the time, I thought Elvis Presley and my dad were friends. I thought the same thing about my Aunt Jeanne and Karen Carpenter. When I overheard my 2nd grade teacher talking to another teacher in the hall about how sad it was to hear about "that poor Karen Carpenter", I butted in and said, "Isn't it, though? So tragic. She was a friend of my Auntie's, you know." I was 8.

Those ladies probably knew before I did what a drama queen I would turn out to be.

Today marks the 35th anniversary of the day Elvis Presley died. My friend Eric posted this on Facebook, and although it might be a bitter pill to swallow, it’s the best summarization I’ve read about the unfortunate demise of such an incredible icon.



Whether you agree with him or not, I thought I would share it.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

If you need me, I'll be under my desk

My baby, the one I dropped off at school for her first day at Kindergarten, like, two days ago, is a junior in high school today.



My baby, the one whose hair I have fixed every year on the first day of school, came down the hall this morning and said, “Momma, would you fix my hair today?”



My baby, the one I have taken to school every year since Kindergarten, drove herself to school this morning.

If you need me, I’ll be curled up in the fetal position under my desk at work.

Love,
Bug’s Momma

Ah! Vocado Fries

In the 70s, my mother was always trying to grow an avocado tree.



She would save the pit of an avocado, stab three toothpicks in the side, and let it float in water on a window sill. In all of the years she did this, I never saw a seed sprout into a tree. In fact, I had other friends whose mothers shared the same sprout dream as my mom. Floating seeds in windowsills were as common as orange shag carpet and Chevy conversion vans in those days.



Last month, my friend Rachel posted a recipe for Avocado Fries on my Facebook page. She said they sounded like something I would whip up. The first thing I thought about was Momma's floating avocado seeds. I think of them everytime I see a seed. I am happy to report the results of this recipe are quicker and far more declicious than waiting for a seed to sprout.

Here's what you need to make them:



A couple of avocados, two large eggs, some panko (Japanese bread crumbs...a must for this recipe), some kosher salt and some flour. Grated Parmesan is optional.



Start by slicing the avocados into wedges.



Sprinkle them with a little salt. Eat a slice. Smile. Thank the growers who can successfully harvest avocados without having to wait on a seed to sprout from a windowsill.



Put the flour, panko and eggs into separate bowls. Beat the eggs slightly.



Start the assembly: first the flour...



Then the egg, followed by the panko.



Line them up on a plate and heat some canola oil in a heavy pot to about 375 degrees.



Drop each avocado slice in one at a time and flash fry for about 10 seconds. The Panko browns quickly.



And that's it! You can sprinkle them with a little grated Parmesan if you like. They're good with it or without it.

I made these a couple of weeks ago to take to a friend's house for a barbecue. They were so, so good, but once they cool off they lose a little crunch.

Here's a quick cut-and-paste version:

Avocado Fries
Recipe adapted from Sunset Magazine

Canola oil for frying
1/4 cup flour
1 tsp kosher salt
2 large eggs, beaten to blend
1 1/4 cups panko (Japanese bread crumbs)
2 firm-ripe medium avocados, pitted, peeled, and sliced into 1/2-in. wedges

Grated parmesan for serving (optional)

1. In a medium saucepan, heat 1 1/2 in. oil until it registers 375° on a deep-fry thermometer.

2. Meanwhile, mix flour with 1/2 tsp. salt in a shallow plate. Put eggs and panko in separate shallow plates.

3. Sprinkle the avocado slices with the remaining ½ tsp salt. Dip each slice in flour, shaking off excess. Dip in egg, then panko to coat. Set on a plate in a single layer.

3. Fry avocado slices in small batches until deep golden, about 10-15 seconds. Transfer slices to a plate lined with paper towels. Keep warm in a 200-degree oven while cooking remaining avocados. Sprinkle with a little grated parmesan.

Burque Bound

I left my beloved LC earlier today for Albuquerque, for a NMPRSA conference that starts at 7:30 a.m. No one wants to be at a conference at 7:30 a.m. But I'm all for a road trip in the middle of a Thursday afternoon. I was heartbroken to see the fire scorching through the Gila National Forest that was visible from the interstate. I pulled over at Caballo to take a picture. I realize this was weird. Do you know me? I'm weird. Nice to meet you. I was also surpised to see there was water at Caballo Lake! Holy cow. The urban legend in the LC is that the lake in Caballo done did dry up. But I seen it with my own eyes...there's a little puddle in that there lake. Hello, Socorro. I waved to my friend Preston, who lives there. Well, hell-OOOO, Trader Joe's! Where have you been my whole life? I love you and I missed you. I inhaled deeply as I walked in. Hello, Lover. I can't wait to try these. My evil cousin introduced me to the addictive drug otherwise known as orange-flavored chocolate. Holy sh*t. Here's the view from my room. It's 819, in case there's a fire and you need to know where I am. I should also mention at this point that for some reason my hotel was so busy that there was no available parking. I had to park two blocks away and walk. In the dark. By myself. Let's all say a prayer for my beloved government vehicle, shall we? Thanks. This was my exciting dinner date. An empty room. Wait! I'm not alone. I have a friend :) Happy Friday, everyone.